Mrs Married Lady

So I promised that all would finally be revealed when we returned from the wedding and as it is now Tuesday the 16th of February and we've been married since Friday the 12th, I believe now is the time for the longest post ever and a run down of how things panned out.

Thursday, 11th February 2010
We awoke at around 5am to catch a 6.40am train to pick up our rental car. While that's nothing spectacular the driven part of the trip might've been better had we had better directions (and less e-toll roads to avoid!) and if a car hadn't flicked a rock up at our windscreen not even halfway through the drive. Which later cracked quite terribly. $192 later...

At around 2pm after all the havoc of getting lost and cracking the windscreen, we realised we wouldn't be arriving at Coffs Harbour until around 5.30pm and we were supposed to meet our marriage celebrant, Lionel Goodacre*, at three or four. So we called and rescheduled. As predicted, we arrived safely at Opal Cove Resort at half past five and settled in. That night we enjoyed pizza and drinks with my best friend and her boyfriend. A fantastic night.


Friday, 12th February 2010
The Wedding Day.

We got up around eight (despite not getting to bed until midnight-or-later) to meet Lionel in the foyer at nine for a brief meeting and completion of paperwork. For the most part it was giving us some fliers regarding pre-marriage counselling, something I shudder at the thought at and am glad we didn't choose a celebrant who might insist upon it, and double checking birth certificate details.

We then met with our friends for breakfast (french toast at the Coffs Harbour jetty, to die for) and eventually headed back to the Resort to get ready because hey, we weren't getting married until four in the afternoon.

After hunting around for a suitable hairdresser I eventually resigned to doing it myself. I can't believe women actually spend that much money on their hair! In the end, my best friend wound up doing it and she did a spectacular job. I cannot thank her enough for all the effort she put into our day.

So, with glitter and makeup applied we made our way down to Hills Beach behind the resort. I'd like to say "half an hour later, voila! We were married!" because I feel that it was amazingly private and having a ceremony with only the two of us, my best friend and her boyfriend, the celebrant and two photographers was utterly perfect (though I did cry earlier in the day after a phone call from my parents).

Photos were taken (a select few of which may be posted later), drinks and meals were had (and a champagne flute shattered in the wind) and the rest of the weekend is between us. ;)



*Lionel Goodacre is the celebrant for a Coffs Harbour photography and elopement company called Loving Images. Our photographers, Lisa and Stephen, were absolutely spectacular on the day.

A quicky before we leave...

Tomorrow we make the eight hour trip to our location (all to be revealed afterwards, again I don't want any crashers!) which involves an hour long train ride to pick up our hire car (there isn't anywhere local to do so) and then a six and a half hour drive, which is fairly straight forward. With any luck we won't get lost and almost-husband won't have any trouble driving on the opposite side of the road than what he's used to.

We are virtually set to go. All the packing is done, we went out today to get a few last minute things like underwear and hairspray. I made the decision to do my own hair and makeup to again cut down on costs (hair and makeup artists are unbelievably expensive no matter where you are, if you are able or know someone, DO IT!) so hopefully we won't have any drama come Friday.

We spent today making mix CDs for the car, fairly evenly his-and-her mixes so there'll be no arguments. Also picked up the flowers I plan on using for my hair and bouquet. Again, we chose to DIY a little bit here for cost and fear of an out of town florist not having what we want. They're all feed off of their own water-source and will hopefully last the trip.

When next posting I will officially be Mrs F! Bye!

Cars and shoes.

We've had some technical difficulties (read: virus) over the last few days but I think they've finally been rectified. I honestly don't understand what joy people get out of not even securing any personal details, just irritating me.

Aside from that, I finally have shoes to go with my dress. It was a fantastic day, like a higher power decided today was our day and nothing could ruin it and I was going to find shoes in less than an hour. I was certain we were going to waste a trip out of town. Photos will come post-wedding.

The following day we put in an order for the groom's suit, settled on a black shirt over cream or white (it just looked better, I was a little afraid to say anything in case we looked like crazy goth people!) and managed to find a tie and handkerchief in the same store that match perfectly. Very lucky day.

On a more personal, less wedding side, we've decided rather than taking public transport (we're non-car owners, for now) we're going to hire a car to get to our location which is several hours away. After lengthy discussion, particularly regarding money, we decided it was more personal and probably easier on the both of us just to drive.

Nerves are starting to settle in but excitement is definitely there too! Only eighteen days to go!

More paperwork.

We received our contracts two days ago. It's fascinating how as soon as you enter into something like this, people don't want to talk plans, they want to do the paperwork and get deposits, then figure out what you want. Okay, not fascinating, maybe interesting is a better word?

In more interesting, female news, I thought I had found shoes but after discussion with my mother decided to go on a hunt in our nearest decent city to have a look in some stores. Probably a better idea, I wasn't sure about the colour. Along with some of the other unconventional parts of our wedding, my dress is lilac. I just don't suit white. It's making finding shoes difficult.

More importantly, the groom found a suit he likes and the place hires. I was starting to worry about whether or not we'd find him anything in less than a month.

Let the ball start rolling.

We received an email from our celebrant, who seems like a lovely man, last night. What impresses me most is that he took the trouble to email us on a Sunday evening, very impressive.

So from here we're going to be working out our personal ceremony with said celebrant, which is fantastic. Of all the plans we've made, unmade and remade, we'd never gotten far enough to work out a ceremony plan. The celebrant will be emailing us a draft ceremony for us to then customise to our own tastes.

I'm quite excited really, with just the two of us there are no expectations from anybody else any more and no fear of bursting out with personal stories in front of family and friends, so we can make it as personal as we like. Fantastic.

Paperwork...

Today we're filing paperwork for the millionth time. I hate paperwork. I hate having to insert name/date of birth/town of birth here. It's so nosy and lets face it; if they wanted all my personal details, all they'd have to do is type my name into a computer and go, "Voila! Found you!"

So today we're filing our Notice of Intention to Marry. Pay attention those preparing to marry, this damned little form is a must. Google it and you'll find every annoying, difficult detail and suddenly find that unlike in the movies, you can't just waltz down to the local Church, etc and say "marry us!" If only life were so simple.

Coincidental Horoscopes.

I don't believe in day to day horoscopes, at least not mass ones, but I continue to read my daily horoscope by Rick Levine for Tarot.com almost everyday. Some days they're disturbingly accurate.

Thursday, Jan 7th, 2010 -- It's difficult to know whether you should try harder today or temporarily retreat. You could feel frustrated now because you wish you took the other course of action no matter how you proceed. Rest assured there is no right or wrong way to go from here. Your path is temporarily obscured and it's best to bide your time until you receive a clear signal that tells you what to do next.

So while I'm not entirely regretful about our choice, we've always come through everything on our own, it is a little bit of a bummer. Just 'cause of certain people. I don't have time to bide my time though!

Monday, Jan 11th, 2010 -- You may feel as if your goals are within reach now, but you can't help but wonder if you are just fooling yourself. Normally, you are able to see the facts quite clearly, however difficult they may be. It's not that you are avoiding reality today; it's just that you realise how important your positive attitude can be in achieving success. Stay focused on finishing what you start, even if it takes longer than expected

Today I didn't get out of bed until 11.30, didn't get dressed properly, and had one of those days where everybody asks you what's wrong except nothing is.

Some reactions.

While traditionally, as I learnt from my grandparents, when eloping you would tell no one of your intentions, we had to. We had people down our throats everyday, asking "what are you doing about your wedding?" and "when are you getting married?!" and not letting them know would've been more trouble than it was worth, especially when we disappeared for four days.

Naturally, I told my parents. Though slightly disappointed (and with some intention to still try to travel the distance), they were otherwise supportive of our decision. I don't think anybody understood more how much hell we had gone through trying to build a wedding that worked for everybody.

My best friend laughed, having suggested the day before when I explained to her how bad things had really gotten that we elope.

His best friend was relieved.

My grandparents, however, yielded the greatest response of all and were actually the inspiration for the title of this blog.

My grandmother promptly laughed, not believing a word I said because of the way I informed her ("what are you doing about the wedding?" "well, we're eloping!" and when I told her I was serious and explained to her the plan (to be revealed later, I don't want any crashers at our wedding!) she nodded and said, "well if that's what you want to do".

Later that afternoon (yesterday, actually) when my grandfather returned home she, that is my grandmother, asked me to explain to him what our new plan was. I did, much in the same manner I did to her, and he laughed and said "no you're not". I was told to explain to him what I had told her, because to them elopement meant going down to the registry office and not telling anybody. Finally I understood all the laughter!

Then my grandmother asked if we wanted them to go with us. Old people.

Eloping, of course.

Everybody has something happen with their wedding plans. In fact, I'm sure it's some kind of rule from on high (and I'm not religious) that something must go wrong. What's the old saying? Murphy's Law?

But our wedding plans were ridiculous. We had originally planned on marrying on Thursday 19th November, 2009, with only my immediate family and best friend. But people would be offended! Oh, and you can just imagine the chaos a Thursday wedding planned but the date was special for us. Then my parents moved out of state and while this originally wasn't thought to be an issue, eventually it and we were "forced" to re-plan everything in another state. Of course, that wasn't good enough for extended family and we just couldn't make everybody happy.

A month ago, we agreed to have a small do with just my parents and best friend, possibly my grandparents. Ironic? Well, I'm looking past that.

This blog starts three days ago, when I called my mother and explained very calmly (or not even remotely) to her that I could not possibly plan a wedding in a state where all I knew was my parents home, which I have visited four times since they moved there. She sighed and resigned to the fact that we were just going to have to have the wedding in our home state.

That evening, I told Ben, the groom, about this elopement package I had come across sometime in the last twelve months of frustration (we've been engaged since 6th December 2008), up the coast, not far from where I had previously resided. He emailed them immediately and I had a small heart attack while I wondered how I'd explain to everybody, again, that our plans had changed, but this time didn't include them.

So, this is our story of elopement, for all those brides who have ever been completely and utterly frustrated with their family and friends inability to cooperate and wanted to elope.